TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE

DESCRIPTION

CAST

ANIME AdventureTransformers Generation 1
MANGA ActionTransformers: The Battle of Star Gate
SPECIAL MechaTransformers 40th Shuunen Kinen Special Movie

REVIEWS

• 

  soyka

  90/100
  Amazing soundtrack, hilariously cheesy dialogue, fascinating animation. All you need for a fun watch.

  This movie is the definition of fun, I dare you to finish this movie and not be left with the dumbest grin of your life.

  I happened to stumble across this movie on a whim, thinking "hey, I remember watching Transformers as a kid, was that even an anime?" only to be extremely and pleasantly surprised, since all my previous nostalgia revisits turned out to be very disillusioning to say the least. So, let’s dig in on this forgotten milestone of my youth, and maybe even yours.

  What you definitely should not expect of this movie is a very complex and subtly built plot. “Transformers : THE movie” (big emphasis on “THE”) was originally meant to be a simple toy commercial to promote a new lineage of merchandise, which in retrospect explains a lot of weird creative decisions. However, it has this boldness that makes this movie so memorable, it's like they went "this is just a silly kids movie, let's do some fun shit with it".

  If you are not familiar with the well-known franchise of “Transformers”, it is basically a huge story about robots that are able to transform into vehicles and are fighting a generations-spanning war. You have the bad guys; The Decepticons, and the good guys; The Autobots. Now you’re essentially set to start this movie, because it is very adamant about disregarding the original series, which plays in the favor of first-time viewers.
  To not spoil too much about the movie, I will sum it up as such: A huge planet-eating orb called “Unicron” is threatening the existence of whatever robot life the producer decides to endanger and it is the Autobots’ task to defeat that giant, and so we embark on the heroes journey with many cool battles against Decepticons, weird planets with twisted justice systems and garbage dumps with robot space-pirates.
  If this premise doesn’t already sound stupidly awesome to you, please bear with me as I explain the merit of this movie in the next sections.

  For a spin-off of a children’s series this movie is very dark, even controversially so, with Hasbro receiving numerous complaints from parents about their kids’ trauma. It is quite understandable, that VERY bold move of killing off the main cast of the original series in mere minutes. That’s just not something you would see in a children’s cartoon. My favorite theory, although unlikely, is that the Japanese staff just thought they’d be making a feature film for some Japanese mecha franchise.

  The script is one of my favorite things about this movie, however cheesy, there is just something very memorable about it. After a second watch, I managed to memorize most of the dialogue. With absolute banger lines such as “Bah weep gra na weep ninni bong”, “Grimlock need new strategy”, and my personal favorite “I have got better things to do tonight than DIE”. The dialogue is just so weirdly snarky, you can’t hold it in contempt (for this court). The movie was originally released in Dub with some notable voice actors such as Orson Welles playing "Unicron" (his last role before death)

  

  I cannot talk about this movie without mentioning the animation, which is unbelievably good. It captures the chaos of battlefield perfectly and pretty much defines the unhinged nature of this movie from the get-go. If you are at all a fan of the 80s A E S T E T H I C, please do check this out. They decided to hire some very talented staff, most striking to me was Satoshi Urushihara, the soon to be key animator for the revolutionary “Akira” at the time. Even if you aren’t particularly a fan of the 80s look, I would say that the movie has aged extremely well, mainly due to the scarce presence of human characters, the designs of which were my main gripe with old anime when I was just being introduced to it. The movie is worth a watch for the cool animation alone, even if that’s not its only merit.

  And now possibly the best thing about this movie: the soundtrack. I will unironically state that this is possibly my favorite soundtrack of an anime(?). The movie almost seems an overly long music video. Whenever there is something exciting happening, you’re damn near sure to have a kickass hard rock track playing over it. I just love the gritty sphere these songs give to the movie, such as the awesome rock rendition of the original Transformers theme song or even “Dare to be stupid” playing over the ridiculous pirate dance scene. You play each of these songs and you remember exactly at which point these are used in the movie, further adding to the memorability.

  If you are looking to watch an easy movie with lots of cool action and animation with an amazing OST, AND you’re always free for hilariously cheesy dialogue coming from actual professional actors, give this one a go.

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• 

  Entrylevelweebfrom22

  63/100
  In honor of 40 years of Transformers, let's look back on this piece of the 80s

  I talk a lot. Deal with it, 'kay? :).

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  [SPOILERS for something that came out when your parents were in their prime (no pun intended)]

  ---

  The year I'm typing this in, 2024, marks the 40th anniversary of the Transformers franchise. While I'm not as into it as I used to be, I'll always have a subconscious soft spot for these Cybertronians. I went through a TF phase in middle school, and even today, I look back on how vast and overpowering the lore of Transformers is. To this day, I've yet to see a fan wiki as high quality, expansive, and endearing as TFWiki.net (check it out, and get lost in the info). A butt load of continuities over the decades, all of varying quality, the notorious merchandising, the 80s roots, the Japanese roots, how iconic that red and blue truck is...it simply gives you a lot to sink your teeth into. Constantly reinventing and recreating itself over the years continuing to make all the young boys over the world go nuts.

  Because at the end of the day: how degenerate do you have to be to say no to cool, colorful robots beating each other up?

  So to commemorate 4 decades of the above, we enter the 1986 Movie. A colorful, lightning-paced, meandering, cheesy, childlike piece of the good ol' 80s. Full of iconic scenes (The Touch, Optimus' infamous death, Unicron's wrath), yet also a bunch of little moments that make you go "wait, I didn't remember THAT."

  Despite the 63/100 score, know that there's no hard feelings attached to it. There's plenty of flaws, but the childlike charm and energy is what keeps it from being truly bad. In fact, I'd wager you could show this to an 8-year old, Gen Alpha kid, and they'd fall in love with it. Despite the 80s tinge...the frenetic energy, imagination, and smaller moments of levity I feel transcends generations. Which I never thought I'd say (again: the goddamn 80s).

  And if I could lightly gloat a little: HA! EAT IT WEEBS. THIS WAS ANIMATED AT TOEI MEANING YUP: THIS IS TECHNICALLY ANIME. SUCK IT!

  I apologize for that, anyway...

  For context, I've yet to watch the entire original Generation 1 series. So whatever background knowledge I have surrounding the plot of this is purely from the good ol' net. Bridging the gap between the second and third seasons of the original 1984 series (dubbed, "Generation 1"), this film being the big budget flick it is, kills off and introduces a lot of characters for the sake of advertising new toys. Yes, it's good ol' 'merican bizniz. Yes, it's pretty superficial. And yes, especially by today's standards, is very transparent. The biggest blow being the surprise death of Optimus Prime, which traumatized the kids, and legitimately made their parents who watched the film back in the day angry. Should it surprise you that by the end of the series, they bring him back to life?

  As for the film itself, it doesn't try to tone down the 80s whatsoever. A score consisting of bright synthesizers, a soundtrack full of hair metal, the over-saturated colors, the cheesy (but ever-so quotable) dialogue...you can practically smell the decade this was made in.

  The basic premise is that feared planet eater Unicron is terrorizing the cosmos, and after Megatron's Decepticons get into a fateful battle against Optimus' Autobots, one that cost Optimus his life, and left Megatron in critical condition, Unicron offers the Cybertronian warlord a new lease on life as his slave, reborn as Galvatron. To find the matrix of leadership passed down from Optimus to his successor Ultra Magnus (later to Hot Rod, who's the closest the movie has to a main protagonist), as it's the only thing that can defeat him.

  The film's biggest issue is how it rarely knows when to slow down. We're constantly being thrown into new locations as the plot meanders, and just kinda goes wherever it wants. Our autobots get split up after their first run-in with Galvatron, we're introduced to new minor characters (Wheelie, the Junkions, the Sharkticons, etc.), it's flashy action setpiece after flashy action setpiece, and it can become a little challenging to get ahold of what's going on at times. You gotta pay close attention to whatever autobot is flying off into space to see if they made it. Not nauseatingly hard-to-follow to the extent of the Bay films, but still.

  Some of the editing doesn't hold up well. Brief fades to black show up, possibly so that it's easier to put in ad-breaks if this airs on TV. Before the iconic "The Touch" scene of Optimus in action, the Dinobots just got finished battling the Combiners, and then it's a very abrupt cut to "Megatron must be stopped..." and the Touch plays. You really have to be on your toes with this film. Even the ending feels pretty rushed. If you didn't know there's a season 3 you're supposed to watch after this, this film basically leaves off on a "well boys, we did it. War is no more." Seriously. I mean, it's happy in the moment at least. Which leads into some weird tonal aspects like right after Hot Rod, Kup, and the Dinobots escape Earth, Kup starts sharing his old war stories to the Dinobots while Hot Rod trains. But the faint, tense music in the background keeps the tone from being subdued, and it doesn't really match what's happening on screen. Your headspace is still "we're in a high speed war, what are we doing here? Kup I know you love your stories, so do I, but could you turn that music off?" This could've been a good opportunity to have a nice transition from the action and ease your way into the scene with no score accompanying it. Let it breathe. And then after say, maybe a minute or two, you can surprise the audience with more action. Similarly, we get an out of nowhere dance scene where our heroes get down to a Weird Al song. Though, not that I'm saying no to that.

  To the film's credit, this makes it so that it's not exactly boring. After all, the animation can be straight-up impressive with the little, cracked details, and the expansive looking background paintings. The nonstop music adds to its identity, and even the little quips are endearing ("we need a new travel agent," and of course, the universal greeting). Comparing this to the live-action films is night and day in terms of straight-up charm. I can't describe, it's got that twinkle, y'know?

  As for the positives, which I touched up on this earlier, HOT DAMN is the animation great. Nearly every background is as jaw-droppingly detailed and beautifully painted as the last. The scuffs, cracks, and stone-like chips on the robots during battle are always a unique detail that show their power and durability (contrasted with them having expressive faces which makes you feel for them), there's downright STELLAR sakuga involving Unicron eating the planets, the gears and mechanics on the spaceships, those luscious transformation scenes, Megatron shooting Optimus down, the bright, illuminating lights that eminate from the Matrix, the expertly animated explosions, I could go on. And as a cherry on top for us anime fans: this is all courtesy of Toei. Pay respect to Transformers' Japanese roots (look it up).

  

  And despite the plot's speed, there is one very memorable, standout scene that IS well-paced and directed: Optimus' death. Vince DiCola's subdued score sells the sorrow of losing the autobots' father-figure, while still being hopeful of the next generation to take over (which is what Hot Rod briefly picking up the Matrix foreshadows). His body slowly turns black, and quietly passes on, leaving Daniel and the other autobots in mourning. Minimal animation puts more on atmosphere, and even the highly limited use of sound effects makes you focus more. Almost dreamlike. And all the props to the man himself, Peter Cullen, for selling Prime's deep, rough, but gentle & wise voice. Like your chilled out grandpa. For a piece of metal, you can completely feel the pain and sorrow in this robot's bright blue optics as he realizes his time is up, and his voice aches. And the fact that he actually stayed dead (for a good while) maintains the impact.

  

  Some other good s**t is of course, both iconic Touch scenes of Optimus mopping the floor with the Decepticons, and dueling Megatron, and Hot Rod facing off against Galvatron. And as quickly as it happens, with the minimum amount of buildup needed, I always found it special how Hot Rod becoming Rodimus signals a "generational" theme I'll talk a little more in a bit. The matrix (presumably) saw a worthy successor in the kid, and it lights our darkest hour finalizing his supposed growth as the leader he was meant to be. It's not super well-crafted, but given we spend a good amount of time with him, it's not out of left field for him to get this status boost for the climax either.

  And really, one thing that really stuck with me on this rewatch is how unequivocally childish this movie is. And I say that as a compliment. The endless action, moments of goofiness, bright colors...it all feels like you're sitting at your table messing with your action figures and Matchbox/Hot wheels cars. Invoking nostalgia obviously, but also a sense that, even though you're watching this when you're older, and you sadly can't connect to all of this cheese as you used to, you then smile thinking of a boy or girl out there who IS fully engrossed in as you once were. You don't think too hard about the logistics or the flow of how these things happen, you can simply accept it face value, and what's more: roll with it (no pun intended). Basically, what Miyazaki was going for in Spirited Away's logic of "don't breathe when you cross the bridge," iirc.

  To fully appreciate and admire this: you have to think like a child. Embrace the inner youngster within you, and enjoy the ride. It's not easy (hell, even I have trouble doing it. And I'm not even that old), but I reckon it's not impossible. When it lands, you definitely know.

  Or in other words, you could say you have to..."dare to be stupid..." Ayo.

  And really, while it's most likely the anniversary-ness of it all, the generational aspect is clicking with me more as I'm typing this. I haven't caught up too much on what's going in the TF sphere outside of the big stuff (Rise of the Beasts, the upcoming One film, etc.), and I'm by no means the ultimate, most knowledgeable diehard TF fan either. Definitely casual. More than I was in my early teens, that's for sure.

  But you don't forget that phase either. It was the first time I properly realized "hey, giant robots are one of the most inherently cool things imaginable!".

  It's settled: if I have kids, I'm gonna educate them with this. Just as Optimus passes it on to Rodimus, I'll do my part in making sure Transformers stays at least a little relevant in the eyes of the next wave of young robot-lovers.

  And thus, marks the proper end of this review of The Transformers: the Movie. In honor of the ultimate giant robot franchise this side of Gundam and Evangelion (we can throw Voltron in there as well, why not). Rise Up and Roll Out, motherf***er. Rise Up and Roll Out.

  

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  POST-REVIEW NOTES!

  I always liked the unintentional dark humor of the Quintessons executing prisoners they flatly deem "innocent." It's such a sadistic manner, and gets me every time.

  To think this was Orson Welles' (of all people) final role, huh. Apparently, the recording sessions with him were super rough due to his age, but it got saved in post by cool voice effects. You'd never notice it actually watching the film. That's movie magic, baby.

  Your homework is to blast Stan Bush's "The Touch" whenever you feel on top of the world.

  One of these years, I need to go on a TF marathon: rewatch Transfomers Prime (goated), watch Animated, all of G1, the Beast Era, etc. Anything else that interests me/I haven't gotten to yet.

  To make us anime fans happy, I might give Transformers Robots in Disguise 2001 a shot. That one's more legitimate as a TF anime outside of technicalities like with G1. In fact, there's plenty of Japanese TF series on here that someone should get around to reviewing soon.

  Watch clips of the Headmasters English dub. They are....surely something...

  And finally: shoutout to my man Diamondbolt for always being my fave Transformers-obsessed Aussie YouTuber. Thanks for being there, Adam. I'll always think of you, bro.

  ---

  

  'Til all are one.

  

  ---

  (I spent over an hour typing this, Jesus...)

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